王昱翔受洗見證
My walk with God started when my mom brought me to her Methodist Church. This was back in first grade. Then I began a gradual process of first learning about the Lord and then the faith came naturally after. I don’t remember the moment when I first decided to follow God, but there was such a moment back in elementary school. Now I’m 21 which means I’m getting baptized more than 10 years after I first believed.
Two Sundays ago, Austin Lin’s dad spoke at HOC7. On his last PowerPoint slide, it said “what are you waiting for?” in a big font. Even though his sermon wasn’t about baptism, I began to ask myself why I waited for so long to get baptized. I believe the main reason is because in everything I do, I must be perfect or better than other people. If I’m not, then I’m not good enough and I’m ashamed. That’s why for a long time, I feel like I was NOT ready to get baptized. I didn’t have a perfect knowledge of God and everyone I know had a deeper knowledge of God.
My constant thirst to be better than others has worked in my favor when it came to school. I see classes and subjects as something I can master and conquer. If I master algebra, then I’m proud. If I didn’t master it, then I’ll try harder. The same was true in how I related to God. All Christians love God and want to know our creator better. I do too. But my intentions were different from other Christians. My intentions were sinful. I wanted to master God like I had mastered algebra. I wanted a perfect knowledge of God because I wanted to conquer Him. Therefore, whenever I feel like there’s an inconsistency in the Bible or when I can’t fully understand a Christian concept, I get frustrated at myself and more so at Him.
Only now have I realized how foolish I was. There were 2 main ways in which I was foolish. First, it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we’re capable of comprehending. For example, in Revelation 4, John recounts his experience of seeing God. John describes 4 angelic creatures that flew around God’s throne.
Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:
“‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
who was, and is, and is to come.”
In the Old Testament, when God appeared before his people, the Israelites were afraid to look at him. They were scrared they would die if they saw God. When Isaiah saw God, he noticed that the bottom of God’s robe filled the whole temple. And here I was, foolishly limiting our majestic and omniscient God to something I can comprehend.
The second way I was foolish was how I used knowledge and wisdom. The world teaches me that I should use knowledge to get a higher income which leads to power. That, however, was not what God had intended. In the book of James, he describes two kinds of wisdom:
The following is from (James 3:13-18):
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
I like to know things because I feel superior after knowing things. And I know I can use that knowledge to satisfy my selfish ambitions. But the Bible clearly calls that unspiritual and demonic.
I used to be frustrated that I’m not all-knowing like our all-knowing Father. But I’m different now. Something happened that made me realize that God purposely made us to be mentally weaker than he is. I say this because our limited mental capacity creates unknowns in our lives. And I’m thankful for these unknowns because it makes me run to God. And being with God is the only time we’ll be truly satisfied. As an example, a recent unknown in my life was the health of my mother, who was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. At the same time, I was dealing with relationship problems with my girlfriend. And these 2 things made me very frustrated because I didn’t know if things were going to turn out alright. And it was during this time that I first realized God’s power over me. In the end, both situations turned out for the best and I’m extremely happy right now that my mom is in good health. And the best part is that because of what happened, I’m closer to God.
I’m closer to God not only because of those 2 events, but also because I’ve realized how sinful I was in thinking that I can be all-knowing like Him. I’ve realized that in Genesis, Eve was tempted because she thought the tree will make her wise like God. And that’s how sin came into this world. Even though I know it’s sinful to want to be all-knowing like God, I’ll still commit this sin from time to time. But that’s ok because of the Gospel. Sin came into this world when man ate from a tree. But our sin has been washed away when Jesus died on a tree.
His death and resurrection shows us that He loves us. And this love is so great that it’s beyond human comprehension.